intervention

(This is a letter i wrote for my sister for her intervention its tommorow, thurs. 25th 2010 4:30 pm, please read this and comment. Whethor the meetings over or not)

Where should I start, Kellsie theres so much i've forgotten about you, memories I've lost being replaced with new ones. I wish for those old memories to come back but, I think what would be best, is to focus on the present and make new memories.
Together to make memories of joy, to get rid of the old ones that I have now of you. It's quite strange, how mom and dad try to hide so much of you to me. Nana and Tara as well, and yet, I always find a way to get to know more about you then them in my own special way.
Sure, they've experianced more with you, know more about you then me, can do things for you that I can't. It's unfair really and yet, I've had my own fair share and it's what I hold onto. The memories of you, when I think of you, I think of those memories. Sometimes I may laugh to myself, thinking it's a little funny and just feeled with joy up inside of how much you've changed.
When I think of you kellsie, I think of a bird, one that flys around its nest and never leaves its home. Spotting something shiny, you fly over to it and is swooped up by a predator. For you, that shiny object is drugs and the predator, yourself. Can't you see it Kellsie? Yourself as a bird? Getting wrapped up in a whole lot of messes, going through so much drama? it's a bit funny when you think of it that way but in real life, its not all that funny at all.
The drugs hold you captive Kellsie, they keep you from your trueself. From the sister thats in my lost memories, the one who used to baby me all the time. I miss that Kellsie, the one who didn't do drugs, who didn't hang out with the wrong people. The one who seemed to care about my singing, to actually help me, you made me love music Kellsie. At first I only started music so I could be closer to you, to know more about you, to be you.
Now, shall I flip forward for you? To talk about the present? How you look to me, how close I feel to you, what I think of you? What I want to do with you? Do I love?
I'll start with the first one, how you look to me
On the outside, you look like a skeleton, with raggedy dyed blond, orange hair or whatever color you dye it, long legs and a small tummy, beak outs sometimes. Now, that may be what others see, but to me, what I see on the outside is a beautiful body, with hair that could be one of a goddesses, long legs and a small tummy of a model, and a wonderful complexion. Long, beautiful fingers that give off a warm feeling when touched by them.
How close I feel to you
I feel oddly distant even though im your sister. I feel left out, like you hide certain things from me to keep me as that cute, innocent, angel little sister you love and admire. The thing is Kellsie, I'm growing up as well and I know alot of things I probably shouldnt at this age. Like sex, and cussing, fights, drugs, killings, and alot of other things. You try to hide it from me when I've already been exposed to it. I want to talk to you about things with no holding back, no matter what its about. I want to be able to be able to talk with you and discuss things with no language watching, not language watching as in cussing. I want to know more about you, whethor good or bad.
What I think of you
I think of you as my water and that I'm the plant, you help me have strong roots and grow beautifully. Your like my light, the thing i chase after in the dark. Your my fuel for my car, having you makes me go, go, go. Your my blanket, the one trying to keep me warm, to protect me from the cold. Your my sister and i will forever and always love you.
So please, because I love you accept this offer. If you do, I'll get to see you alot more often, and know your safe. That you will not be hurt or manipulated by anyone and even if you get lonely, I want you to remember. That your ittle guardian angel, is always with you no matter what. That she, I, will love you even through the worst of the worst and believe in you.